Veronique Darwin

WAnt to write a post but can’t see screen

In Thoughts on Writing on June 20, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Hello. I am only one foot (I should say a third-ish of a metre) from the computer screen and everything is fuzzy. This intro even looks okay, from this distance. I can’t see anything because I left my glasses in a bag that is being transported for me from one place to here, but had to stop somewhere else in between. (I made a spelling mistake! I see red!) My glasses are in that bag.

I became nearsighted in eighth grade. It was the year a lot of things changed, including I was no longer able to see things. I thought it was neat, this new disability. Then I realized glasses and braces together meant something.

(photo credit to if you just type in Baby Wearing Glasses)

My eye sight started getting progressively worse. My dad kept asking the optometrist if it was because I read so much. He would walk by me reading and ask me to look up from time to time, to focus on other things. I tried, but I remember spending three hours on a Saturday morning reading from Harry Potter Six. I sat crying and rereading for the rest of the day. I always try not to reveal the ending of Book Six of Harry Potter to people. I tiptoe around it, like we all know but we’re still trying to forget.

Eyes became not such a big thing when I was granted the gift of contacts. Two years ago I got cool glasses, so now I consider my nearsightedness a gift. But the idea of not being able to see one day – let’s say my eyesight got even worse, or I was lost somewhere in the very predicament I am in now – and how sad that would be continues to haunt me. I don’t worry about the practical side of it. I worry instead that I wouldn’t be able to read. Or I would write and not be able to read over, to get past shitty-first-draft stage. I would have a day where my fingers were shifted over by one key on the keyboard and everything qiyks ewas kujw rgua.

What the heck would I do if I lost my eyes? I always think, like I am being asked, that I would give up (heroically) my ears for my eyes. Music? I can’t even tell you what pitch is. Speaking to people is always second best to text messaging them, to reading their poetry. I would give up my tongue, I think, for these retinas.

I need my eyes. It’s getting hard. I can’t even see my blog posts anymore.

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