Hello. I am only one foot (I should say a third-ish of a metre) from the computer screen and everything is fuzzy. This intro even looks okay, from this distance. I can’t see anything because I left my glasses in a bag that is being transported for me from one place to here, but had to stop somewhere else in between. (I made a spelling mistake! I see red!) My glasses are in that bag.
I became nearsighted in eighth grade. It was the year a lot of things changed, including I was no longer able to see things. I thought it was neat, this new disability. Then I realized glasses and braces together meant something.
My eye sight started getting progressively worse. My dad kept asking the optometrist if it was because I read so much. He would walk by me reading and ask me to look up from time to time, to focus on other things. I tried, but I remember spending three hours on a Saturday morning reading from Harry Potter Six. I sat crying and rereading for the rest of the day. I always try not to reveal the ending of Book Six of Harry Potter to people. I tiptoe around it, like we all know but we’re still trying to forget.
Eyes became not such a big thing when I was granted the gift of contacts. Two years ago I got cool glasses, so now I consider my nearsightedness a gift. But the idea of not being able to see one day – let’s say my eyesight got even worse, or I was lost somewhere in the very predicament I am in now – and how sad that would be continues to haunt me. I don’t worry about the practical side of it. I worry instead that I wouldn’t be able to read. Or I would write and not be able to read over, to get past shitty-first-draft stage. I would have a day where my fingers were shifted over by one key on the keyboard and everything qiyks ewas kujw rgua.
What the heck would I do if I lost my eyes? I always think, like I am being asked, that I would give up (heroically) my ears for my eyes. Music? I can’t even tell you what pitch is. Speaking to people is always second best to text messaging them, to reading their poetry. I would give up my tongue, I think, for these retinas.
I need my eyes. It’s getting hard. I can’t even see my blog posts anymore.