Veronique Darwin

My Favourite Horoscope

In Inspiration on July 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

from John Gardner’s On Becoming a Novelist:

“Like other kinds of intelligence, the storyteller’s is partly natural, partly trained. It is composed of several qualities, most of which, in normal people, are signs of either immaturity or incivility:

wit (a tendency to make irreverent connections);

obstinacy and a tendency toward churlishness (a refusal to believe what all sensible people know is true);

childishness (an apparent lack of mental focus and serious life purpose, a fondness for daydreaming and telling pointless lies, a lack of proper respect, mischievousness, an unseemly propensity for crying over nothing);

a marked tendency toward oral or anal fixation or both (the oral manifested by excessive eating, drinking, smoking and chattering; the anal by nervous cleanliness and neatness coupled with a weird fascination with dirty jokes);

remarkable powers of eidetic recall, or visual memory (a usual feature of early adolescence and mental retardation);

a strange admixture of shameless playfulness and embarrassing earnestness, the latter often heightened by irrationally intense feelings for or against religion;

patience like a cat’s;

a criminal streak of cunning;

psychological instability;

recklessness, impulsiveness, and improvidence;

and finally, an inexplicable and incurable addiction to stories, written or oral, bad or good.

Not all writers have exactly these same virtues, of course. Occasionally one finds one who is not abnormally improvident.”


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