Veronique Darwin

Too Much to Play Risk

In Thoughts on Writing on November 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm

I cry when I play the game Risk. At first I do well and get overconfident. Then people who understand the way the world works take all my pawns and I take it personally. It’s the same every time. I cry when I play the game Risk.

What I don’t do is I don’t cry when I have people look at my writing. I’ve only had it happen three times and once I cried and twice I didn’t. I don’t cry when I have people look at my writing.

There was one time I showed someone my writing that I didn’t count above. I gave my elementary school librarian a novella I had written called “The Magic Cupboard.” I might have been in grade three, maybe grade four. She gave it back to me with red pen grammar edits. I was confused: I hadn’t wanted editing; I think I wanted her to get it published. I wanted someone to tell me it was incredible I had written something. I’m sure she did, but all I could look at were the red pen edits. Oh. I have to work at this?

I kept a journal in Kindergarten. I’d like to go back to that person who I was then – I’m sure I cried at more than just the game Risk – and tell her that she was pretty neat. The Kindergarten curriculum does not say write a journal on your own time. Most Kindergarten students can’t write a journal on their own time.

I used to cry when I played Scrabble with my mom. She’d always win and I’d always cry. I was a child. She was a native French speaker. We both were underdogs.

I’ve recently realized I’m too much for games like Risk and Scrabble. I can’t watch commercials with animals in them and I can’t drive in rush hour. I find it hard to come home from a long day’s work. I get overwhelmed in many situations. I mean, I cry when I play the game Risk.

I have had too many emotions for too long that I’ve been forced into being a writer since Kindergarten. I learned to read early so I could get it all out. I don’t always cry when I show people my writing. Three out of four times I show my writing to people I usually don’t cry. I think it’s because for once something hasn’t overwhelmed me: I got rid of it, that feeling. Here’s the product. Here’s what happened.

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